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  • Elise I. Antoine

Sexual Abuse Survivor

April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month and it's important to understand from the perspective of a survivor.


My name is Elise I Antoine and I am a survivor of sexual abuse and it has been one of the biggest stresses and secret of my life. It started when I was 7 years old and I kept it a secret from my family until I was 27 years old. It completely messed me up but my mission was to make everyone think that I was happy.


Keeping it a secret was very painful and it still is. I was living a double life by trying to pretend everything was okay. I felt numb, confused and left with a lot of unanswered questions.


Something that truly angers me that I hear people often say about survivors is "why would you wait so long before you told anyone?" My abuser asked me to keep it a secret and I was a little girl. There is no time limit when you choose to speak up.


It was scary and it's like what do you do if there's so much shame and self-blame and you feel totally violated and disgusted you're not thinking about everybody you're thinking about punishing yourself for what happened. At least I did!


Self mutilation was one of the ways I dealt with my pain. To see the blood, feel the pain and to pour rubbing alcohol on my wounds as I felt my whole body on fire was what I enjoyed. Cigarettes was another way of suppressing my pain and it use to be my best friend.


A friend once told me something that will always stick with me. She said there are times when you have family members that lives in a different country that are not use to you but may like you more than a family member should. (Think about it)


I think the worst part of my story is that my abuser still has access to me so it's very traumatic. 😥 (you will learn more about my story when I finish my book)


Things that have helped me cope with my trauma:

1 My relationship with God- my faith, prayers and going to church!

2 Therapy- I go to therapy every week and it's the best gift to myself!

3. My tribe- when family and friends love all of you free from judgements!

4. Speaking up and s


haring what I am comfortable with has been therapeutic!


Your story will always be your truth and it's never your fault. Continue to #ripthestigma off sexual abuse survivors!