I started thinking about “How did I break my covenant with God?” At the time I was on a 21 day fast. I prayed and asked God to reveal what the dream meant. It completely broke my heart when I discovered that I had put my long term relationship before God.
The truth is I have been in a long secret relationship with Newport 100's 😩. I depended more on my cigarettes to help me with my pain, stress, rejection and being molested. My relationship with my cigarettes was so deep that my love life was on hold because I already was in one.
Between the 21 days fast at my church, God using my Pastor Lawrence Powell to cause a shift in my life and Pastor Michael Todd’s “Release” series, they were the perfect recipe that freed my soul.
God revealed a lot of things and one thing that stood out was when he said that I had too many secrets and I needed to release them 🤔😳 and he was right. I kept thinking how can I love something that can kill me? Many people struggle with addiction to cigarettes. They honestly do make you feel relaxed but your problems never go away. You just end up with another problem and that is being addicted to it.
January will make it 2 years since I quit smoking and I thank God for breaking that habit. It has not been easy and I am still grieving because a part of me has died. I shared my testimony to encourage many who are trying to quit and are not there yet. I see you, I hear you and I support you. Yes, you can be a Chirstian with a great relationship with God and be called and still have struggles like smoking. Now I have to deal with my pain head on and I know God has my back.
Stay tuned to part 4!